Wench Mum Chronicles

Years of living off processed foods has made the Wench Mum's taste buds inert. Her crazy recipes include plain boiled spinach on rice, butter+soysauce+rice, stir-fried bitter cucumber (plain) with bread, cabbage dumplings, and many more. Every time she attempts to make "grub" for us I am always amazed how the expensive, organic vegitables can turn into such monstrous goulash of foul flavours. It has got to that point where my brother makes dinner for us when he visits, and I bluntly tell the Wench Mum that I don't want to eat whatever she is making.

Yesterday she offered to make lunch. "Do you want some of my Crap Cuisine?"

"Wench Mum, what are you making?" (out of politeness)

"I am making some unappetising pasta, as you would say, DWR. I am going to make some old fashioned Japanese style pasta that you can find in greasy diners. My old time favourite; brings me fond memories of home style cooking."

"Wench Mum, you don't mean that disgusting spaghetti where you under cook the onions, fry some processed ham together with some undercooked peppers and mix that up with the pasta and flavour it with Ketchup?"

"Yes that is the one. The old fashioned Japanese style pasta 'Neapolitan', just like the pasta you find in greasy diners."

"No thanks, Wench Mum, I think I will have some Penne Carbonara."

With that the Wench Mum went humming to the kitchen to add some ketchup with undercooked vegitables to her spaghetti... with pleasure.

Can someone remove her genes from me?