Wench Mum Chronicles

1. Location of Butter In The Fridge: The location of the butter must be on the top left shelf of the refridgerator. Reason: Wench Mum may go blind the following moring but will still be able to locate the butter if she wants to make some toast for breakfast.
2. Removal of House Dust Using Recycled Wet Tea Leaves: The vacuum cleaner, according to the Wench Mum merely scoops up housedust from the nozzle, only to expell it from the exhaust. While this may have been true for Japanese home appliances built in the 1950s this is not the case today. Wench Mum insists on drinking green tea, spreading the wet tea leaves onto the wooden floor to sweep up the dust with it with a broom. Reason: It's been done this way for many years, and anyway, the tea leaves are wet so they will pick the dust up. Oh, and green tea is cleansing.
3. Sleeps next to torch, telephone, and Fabreze: covered in previous post with actual picture... probably self explanatory. I won't bother you with the details.
4. Refusal to Dispose Of Anything That "Could" Be Recycled: The Wench Mum has been known to keep bedsheets purchased over 32 years ago (I know, coz it was there before I was born!). Reason: She may be able to make dolls' clothes with it one day. Oh, or even a mop "if I shred it up, and put it on a broken branch." (good luck, Wench Mum)
5. Conversations With Inanimate Objects. The Wench Mum not only has a monologue, but actually has a discussion with these things. She used to have an alarm clock that never went off on time APART from the days that she asked kindly to wake her up on time. Reason: The Alarm is my friend, and she does not like to be talked to in a nasty manner. Isn't that right, Alarmy?
6. Refusal To Leave House On Weekends. There was one long weekend when I went trekking with my friends. On return from my trip I found my mother sitting in the same location in front of the TV just as I had left her 3 days ago. "Hi Wench Mum, you look as if you haven't left the spot -- haha. So, did you leave the house?", to which she responded, "Yes, I went to the veranda to water the plants. Reason: There is enough food in the house, why leave?

So why don't I have a number 7 in the list? Well there is, plus a little bit more, but I'll tell you about them some other time. But, in the meantime...

Can someone remove her genes from me?

# posted by Drunken Wench Rambler : 5:36 am